- VIKA, MILOU AND JACQUES -

One thing is clear, this trio is invincible. That's probably the first thing that comes to mind when I think of my good friend Vika and her two children Milou (14) and Jacques (12). At this point, I'm going to come straight out and say that I'm a friend of the family. When Vika asked me if I would like to write a text about the three of them, I was very happy and at the same time a bit intimidated. Even though she is rock solidly convinced that I can definitely do that very well. Rock solid conviction is what Vika has about a lot of things, and that's what makes her character. She carries an incredible strength within her that I deeply admire. And she has definitely already passed it on to Jacques and Milou, her two wonderful creatures.

If the three have one thing in common, it's that they don't let anyone tell them what to do. They question things, they want to be convinced and not just accept. Three characters that could not be more different and at the same time more similar. When I watch them sometimes, I have to grin at how much of Vika I see in Milou, when the two of them argue, like mother and daughter sometimes do at that age, until the sparks fly. Or when I argue with Jacques and he insists on his opinion or, on the contrary, charmingly gets out of it. They all have a big heart and let the people they love share their lives, surprising me every time with an authenticity that lets me be fully in the moment.

They are good at that, creating a beautiful place, creating beautiful moments and warmly welcoming others with appreciation. They have already experienced a lot together. The first years in Bali the island paradise: an early childhood by the sea or in the jungle for Milou and Jacques, Vika as a young mother, model and aspiring jewelry designer. Here she discovered her passion for sustainable silver jewelry and was at the time in a relationship with the children's father. After the separation back in Germany, more precisely in Cologne, the change for them all probably could not have been more contrasting.

The three of them have created a small empire for themselves here and Vika has pushed ahead with her business. As a single mother with two school-age children in a big city. Respect. When I watch the three of them, I see how they function, how well coordinated they are - a team. They are a family and at the same time they seem like best friends for each other. They listen to each other, sometimes more sometimes less, completely normal when three spirited people meet who all articulate themselves differently, although they have the same roots, the same DNA.

What I admire a lot about Milou and Jacques is their creativity and emotional and logical intelligence. They don't make, they create. One at the piano, the other with a brush on canvas. In addition, they are two incredibly empathetic people who have seen a lot for their age, in terms of different countries and cultures that they called home for a long time, and met people who gave them a sensitivity and sense of tolerance and justice, so that I am absolutely fascinated by them every time we meet.

As I write this, I think about how passionate Vika is about singing, dancing and painting or drawing, creating designs. Her sense of beauty in life and how she uncompromisingly demands her right to have fun and enjoy herself. Something she definitely deserves besides the certainly often not easy everyday life as a single and -parenting as well as self-employed woman in the public with her own jewelry label. We must not forget the joy and the lightness in life, no matter how hopeless or existentially threatening everything sometimes seems. I think that's what she wants to tell her fellow human beings, but first and foremost her children, in such moments. And that is, if we are honest, a really good lesson for life. It's also very sustainable... just like her jewelry creations.

She goes her own way and that's simply because she doesn't live the societal norm of a classic family image. For me, Vika, Milou and Jacques are proof that there is no need for norms. When I hear them cackling and laughing out loud together over funny TikTok reels or infantile jokes, I am moved every time and feel an incredible bond with them. A bond that can't be threatened, let alone broken, by adolescent challenges or sometimes even existential ones. It's crazy how differently we experience family and how our ideas of what means intact or broken are shaped. How many parents are normal and what sexual orientation should they have, or better not have? All nonsense.

The journey continues, this time to Berlin and that during Corona. No matter, the three inspire each other, they grow together and with each other, they live together at eyelevel in their own little world. Yes, I write that consciously. As already mentioned, they create their cozy feel-good places and you can see their love for beauty, art and music, good food, curiosity for new things in every corner of their home. A basketball hoop here, a punching bag there, a piano across from a chessboard, draped welcomingly next to two armchairs. Designs and jewelry next to schoolwork and computer games, canvases and paintbrushes behind ring lights and a forest of plants. Controlled, structured, organized chaos - with attention to detail and a tendency toward coziness.

It works.

For me, they are not only role models when it comes to alternative lifestyles, but also as people. Each for themselves. And the world can expect something when Milou and Jacques leave the nest with their mother's assertiveness, courage and inner strength. Now the age-related shyness still prevails, which I also recognize in Vika in some moments, when she does not yet feel up to a situation, but when I look into the eyes of the two youngsters, I already recognize their strong will and curiosity about life.

Strong-willed survival artists. That's what they are. All three of them.

About the author:


Nadine Primo lives in Berlin and is a freelance writer, editor and content creator. As a representative of the queer community, she shares personal experiences from her everyday life as a bisexual woman on her blog and Instagram and draws attention to ongoing injustices in the patriarchy as well as mental health, especially depression.